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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26642065">To Be Loved</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/vooraltijd/pseuds/vooraltijd'>vooraltijd</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Background Mai/Zuko - Freeform, Canon Compliant, Confessions, Feelings Realization, Fire Nation (Avatar), First Kiss, Fluff, I would die for zuko, M/M, Not Beta Read, Post-Canon, Post-War, Sokka too, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, background gaang, not even proofread oops, zukka is real i will go down with this ship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:00:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,518</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26642065</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/vooraltijd/pseuds/vooraltijd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Even though he was Firelord now, Zuko still felt out of place in his own war room. Returning to the Fire Nation had been a dream of his, the focus of his life, for years. Now that he was back, though, everything felt off. He noticed everything: The sideways looks from his father’s advisors, the snide comments as he passed by, the way servants winced every time he moved. Sometimes he feels like he’ll never escape his father’s legacy or live up to his expectations, even though he has no power over him anymore. </p>
<p>Or; Sokka’s visit to the Fire Nation makes Zuko remember how to be human again. As it turns out, human emotions are tricky.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sokka &amp; Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>192</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>To Be Loved</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi! I've been drinking my loving-zukka-juice for the past few months so I decided to write something. I've literally gone through the entire zukka tag. I need help. Anyways, I didn't proofread this, so sorry in advance, but I had a kinda cute idea and just let it flow. If we're being honest, I just wanted to write soft zuko content.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Zuko lets out a gasp as his hand suddenly seizes up. He’s been writing for Agni-knows how long, caught up in all the boring bureaucracy that comes with reshaping a nation. All of this Firelord stuff has become a constant pressure in Zuko’s life, and his mental and physical health has been suffering because of it. His shoulders are constantly tense, his head hurts, and there’s the constant nagging voice in the back of his head telling him he’ll never be enough. Of course, Zuko would never admit to any of that. Be it his teenage stubbornness or his unwavering resolve, he keeps his mouth shut. For the sake of the Fire Nation, he has to stay strong. If their leader can’t keep it together, how can the whole nation? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His train of thought is (thankfully) interrupted by a servant knocking. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Lord Zuko, I’m here to remind you of your meeting with the international ambassadors this evening.” The servant, a girl in her mid-twenties, speaks timidly, like a mouse addressing a lion. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Right. The meeting. “Thank you for the reminder. I’ll be out in a moment.” Zuko had totally forgotten about his meeting. With a mental face-palm, Zuko pushes himself away from his desk and walks towards the floor-length mirror on the other side of the room. His hair is a mess, likely from his nervous habit of running his hands through it. In a feeble attempt at tidying his appearance, Zuko redoes his topknot, affixing the crown firmly in the center. It still feels foreign to him to wear the Firelord’s crown. Just knowing that his father had worn the same one makes him wince. Taking a deep breath, Zuko readies himself for the meeting ahead. Today all of his foreign ambassadors are gathering to discuss reparations to the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes. Luckily, there haven’t been any snags in quite some time, and the Southern Water Tribe seems to have gotten itself back on track. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Thinking of the Southern Water Tribe makes Zuko think of Sokka. The Southern Water Tribe Ambassador and his best friend in the entire world. Whenever he’s around Sokka the world seems a little bit brighter; meetings with the other ambassadors are </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely</span>
  </em>
  <span> more bearable. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sighing, Zuko walks out of his chambers and starts heading towards the war room. It was ironic that of all rooms the war room was to hold this meeting. The war room, where his ancestors planned attacks on the other nations. The war room, where he saw great generals sacrifice entire battalions to the Fire Nation’s power grabs. The war room, where his father finally decided that his own son wasn’t worth it. Even though he was Firelord now, Zuko still felt out of place in his own war room. Returning to the Fire Nation had been a dream of his, the focus of his life, for years. Now that he was back, though, everything felt off. He noticed everything: The sideways looks from his father’s advisors, the snide comments as he passed by, the way servants winced every time he moved. Sometimes he feels like he’ll never escape his father’s legacy or live up to his expectations, even though he has no power over him anymore. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As he walks into the war room, however, his glum mood is immediately cast off as he’s greeted with a loud voice that could only belong to one person. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Zuko! I mean, Firelord Zuko! It’s so good to see you… er… your highness?” Sokka stumbles through his sentence, grinning all the while. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko loves Sokka’s smile. It’s this goofy thing that takes up his entire face. His lips widen until he grins ear to ear, his eyes crinkle, his irises sparkle. His whole face just radiates happiness, and Zuko can’t help but shoot him a bright grin in return. “It’s great to see you too, Ambassador Sokka.” Ambassador. So formal. Zuko misses when he could just hang out with his friend without all the formalities of the monarchy. He’s only 19, but he has the weight of a whole nation pressuring him to do more, to do better. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The meeting drones on and on. Normally, Zuko pays acute attention to every detail of the reparations. But he can’t help but zone out as the Earth Kingdom envoy talks. Sokka doesn’t help, of course. He continuously shoots Zuko secret smiles or mouths jokes only meant for Zuko to understand. Zuko is aware of his heart rate whenever Sokka looks in his direction. It increases, and he can almost feel his heart leap up into his throat. And he doesn’t like it. Zuko wonders what’s wrong with himself, why can’t he focus on the meeting, why can’t he focus on anything other than his best friend? It’s Sokka, for Agni’s sake, he’ll stick around after the meeting. Clearing his throat and his mind, Zuko forces his attention back towards the meeting. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko is incredibly relieved when the meeting </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally</span>
  </em>
  <span> comes to a close. Honestly, all of that could’ve been handled over letters. Obviously, it was quicker to bring everyone together, but still. Nearly two and a half hours later, Zuko is bored, tired, and hungry. As if he’d read his mind, Sokka jumps at Zuko the second they leave the war room. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey buddy, whaddya say we hit up some of that famous Fire Nation cuisine?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, sure,” Zuko stutters, caught off guard even though he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sokka would ask, “what’re you feeling?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka laughs, “You know this place better than me! Come on, what’s the Fire Nation’s best kept secret spot?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If I told you it wouldn’t be a secret,” Zuko teases. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Aw man, who am I gonna tell?” Sokka whines as he smiles. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko fakes thinking it over, and finally gives in. “Alright, let’s go,” he says with a small smirk.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka perks up. “Now </span>
  <em>
    <span>that’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> what I wanted to hear!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As the pair walks down one of the many long Fire Nation halls, Zuko tries to suppress a smile. He loves how easy talking with Sokka is. How one little conversation with him manages to erase a bad day. Knowing he’s got Sokka by his side is honestly one of the few key things that’s kept him afloat through the war recovery process. Whenever the job gets rough he can count on Sokka to be there with an inside joke or an impromptu adventure. Even though he might not always show it, Zuko can’t thank Sokka enough for so readily accepting him as a friend. It would’ve been so easy for him to reject him — they had been enemies, after all. But no. From day one Sokka treated him like a real person. Honestly, it saved Zuko. It made him sure that helping Aang instead of hunting him was the right choice. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko leads Sokka down a small alley, winding up in front of a hole-in-the-wall kind of restaurant. The signage shows its age through weathered corners and peeling paint, but the inside looks as warm and welcoming as ever. A soft orange glow lights the restaurant, making the plush chairs seem even more inviting. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This is my favorite spot in Caldera,” Zuko explains, “it reminds me of working in the tea shop with Uncle.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka looks around, an imperceptible expression on his face. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry if it’s not what you were hoping for -” Zuko starts, but Sokka cuts him off. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No! No, it’s great! I mean, it’s not what I was expecting from the Firelord, but if you like it, I trust you.” Sokka offers Zuko a sheepish smile, accompanied by a blush. Zuko can’t tell if it’s Sokka blushing or the orange lights playing tricks on his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The shop owners take notice of their customers, unaffected by the Firelord’s presence in their small establishment. Sokka thinks Zuko must come here a lot, given by their relative lack of reaction. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Firelord Zuko,” a small woman in a red apron says with a bow, “we’re honored to have you join us again.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“The honor is mine, Lu Min.” Zuko holds back a smirk, remembering the desperate quest for “honor” he had devoted himself to just a year prior. Another thing Sokka saved him from. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What can I do for you today?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko mulls his options over in his head for a moment. “We’ll take two orders of my usual to-go, please.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka looks at Zuko again in confusion. Zuko seems to notice, as he quickly clarifies: “Ambassador Sokka and I are going to eat outside today. You know, for fresh air and stuff.” Zuko says the last part mostly to himself, his voice dropping in that way it so often does when he feels he needs to justify himself. Picking up on his friend’s change in demeanor, Sokka jumps in. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve been traveling for so long, I can’t wait to try your food! Zuko says it’s his favorite.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lu Min ducks her head, concealing a blush, and heads into the back of the otherwise empty restaurant to get them their food. Zuko’s usual order turns out to be a specialty five-flavor soup with komodo sausage, and it smells </span>
  <em>
    <span>amazing</span>
  </em>
  <span>. As the pair make their way back to the palace grounds Zuko notices Sokka’s mouth start to water at the smell. He can’t blame him, though. It really is some of the best food Zuko’s ever had. Knowing all too well that if they don’t stop soon Sokka can and will become ravenous, Zuko takes a turn and stops by a small pond. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The pond is nothing extraordinary; there’s a tree with large branches and a thick trunk, and water only disturbed by the turtleducks calmly floating on the surface. It’s a scene that almost looks out of place for the Fire Nation, a place that looks untouched by the tragedy and suffering of the war. Zuko gestures for Sokka to sit down. Sokka takes a seat leaning against the tree’s thick trunk and Zuko does the same. Sokka wastes no time opening the bag of food Zuko had set between them, eyes sparkling and practically drooling over the smell of the soup and sausages. Zuko notices that Lu Min put some extra rolls in the bag, as well. Overcome by instinct, Zuko picks up a roll, breaks off a tiny piece, and tosses the crumb into the pond. Almost immediately the turtleducks swarm to him, begging for more (which Zuko happily gives them). </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka can’t help but watch the quiet scene unfold. He notices the fond look in Zuko’s eye, and if he’s not mistaken, the young Firelord looks close to tears. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Zuko?” Sokka asks, voice not above a whisper. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko looks over at Sokka, tears evidently brimming now, but doesn’t say anything. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you… do you want to talk about it?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko takes a deep breath. “I used to come here with my mom when I was a kid. We’d sit and feed the turtleducks just like this. It’s stupid, but I guess that was the only time I felt like a normal kid and not some… competitor.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka nods in encouragement and turns to fully face Zuko. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean, my entire childhood was a competition. And Azula always won. Which meant my father was always disappointed in me. My mom was the only one to show me what a parent should be like. And then she disappeared.” In a quieter voice, Zuko adds, “I haven’t been here since.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Unsure of what to do or say, Sokka does the first thing that comes to his mind: hug Zuko. Zuko tenses at first, but quickly melts into the embrace. He feels the tears start to roll down his cheeks, but feels so safe with Sokka he lets them. Normally he’d bottle these up, choke them down and only let himself </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span> once he knew nobody would see him. But Sokka’s different. Sokka, the boy who helped him learn what it was like to be a teenager, to have friends, to have a family. To be loved. And suddenly something falls into place in Zuko’s mind. The way Sokka always knows what to say, the way he holds eye contact for a second longer than necessary, the way he’s always there when Zuko needs something, with no regard for his own needs. That’s what it’s like to be loved. And the way Zuko’s heart rate speeds up when Sokka sits next to him, the way Zuko can’t sleep the night before Sokka arrives or leaves, the way Zuko would do anything for Sokka. That’s what it’s like to love. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko pulls back from the hug, but Sokka keeps his arms where they’re resting on Zuko’s shoulders. The two make eye contact, and Zuko loses all ability to think rationally. He searches the ocean-blue eyes in front of him, silently asking for a sign, </span>
  <em>
    <span>any</span>
  </em>
  <span> sign. As if he read Zuko’s mind, Sokka’s eyes briefly dart down to Zuko’s lips, then back up again to behold those golden amber eyes. Without thinking, Zuko leans closer, slowly closing his eyes. His lips make contact with Sokka’s, gentle and light, neither of the two moving. When Zuko snaps out of his trance, he jumps back. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking, I don’t want to ruin anything or —” Zuko stops when he feels Sokka’s hand wrap around his wrist. Rising to meet Zuko, Sokka lets out a small smirk, so small it can’t even be described as a laugh. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Zuko,” Sokka whispers, “you could never ruin what we have.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko feels a lump form in his throat. “You mean you… want this too?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko’s cheeks turn a wonderful shade of pink as he looks down and brushes his bangs away from his eyes. He feels Sokka wrap his hand around his other wrist and looks up to once again meet his eyes. Sokka leans closer, pulling Zuko in gently to meet in the middle. Before their lips touch, though, Sokka asks, “Are you sure?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes.” Zuko closes the gap once again, kissing Sokka properly, wrapping his arms around the Water Tribe boy’s waist. Sokka moves his hands from Zuko’s wrists to his shoulders, then one to the back of his head, loosening Zuko’s silky black hair from its knot. Their lips begin to move, growing hungrier. The initial shock has worn off, replaced by a strong desire to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>closer</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Sokka uses the hand in Zuko’s hair to tilt Zuko’s head, giving himself the proper angle to kiss deeper. Zuko is shocked when he feels Sokka’s tongue run along his bottom lip, but almost even more shocked that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>likes</span>
  </em>
  <span> it. Kissing Mai had never felt as good — as right — as this. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>At some point, the boys stop kissing, pulling each other into a tight hug, standing at the edge of the turtleduck pond. The sun overhead casts its rays on the water, light dancing on the small ripples caused by the swimming turtleducks. Zuko tucks his head into Sokka’s shoulder, feeling secure on the castle grounds for the first time in a long time. And he knows that he’ll never have to feel alone again. </span>
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